Is Low Self Esteem Really the Problem?

In today's world with it's rising crime, violence, drug abuse and general moral decay; we often here it tooted that low self esteem is the problem.
Is that so? Really?

Could there be some subtle but unbalanced interpretation of the word esteem at play here?

The Concise Oxford Dictionary (1964) defines esteem as:- v.t.& n. 1.think highly of; consider,as I shall~it (as) a favour. 2.n. Favourable opinion, regard. respect.

From this definition we see that there comes the word respect. While there are times when esteem and respect could be considered synonymous, this is not necessarily the case.

Let us consider for instance the young person who thinks so highly (esteem) of himself and his driving ability that he hoons through city streets at a great rate of knots endangering both himself and others.

On the one hand he has great self esteem, he is king of the road, his peers no doubt applaud his antics thereby increasing his esteem.

On the other hand he has no respect for his own safety. No respect for the feelings of his family should he maim or kill himself or others. He certainly has no respect for the right of other drivers to be able to use the roads safely. His self esteem is so great he considers it the responsibility of others to get out of his way. He is completely lawless.

He has a great measure of self esteem but no self respect.

Esteem was not something that we were supposed to bestow on ourselves, but rather on others.

Philippians 2:3 doing nothing according to party spirit or self-glory, but in humility, esteeming one another as surpassing themselves;

We are told in the above quote from the New Testament, that we are to have humility not high self esteem. Does this mean we are not to have self respect.

Let me give one more example of high self esteem coupled with a marked lack of self respect.

Three young women (18-20 yrs) were walking up the main street of a CBD. One of these was proudly telling the others how at 14 yrs old she had slept with a 25yr old. Her immediate audience was oohing, ah'ing and wowing. This obviously gave the young woman in question great stature in their warped thinking.

Her self esteem was being fed but where was the self respect?

The conversation showed, no respect for the law - it is illegal for girls to have sex under 16yrs old. No respect for her parents, who may well have been both ashamed and embarrassed by this public declaration of their daughters sexual exploits.No respect for herself in throwing herself at a 25 yr old and others and allowing them to treat her as an object of their pleasure. No respect for her body that she had risked subjecting to disease.

NO RESPECT but her SELF ESTEEM among her peers was fed to the MAX.

I ask this question. If a person has no self respect how can they possibly have respect and consideration for others?

Consider the taggers some of them are very talented artists, they gain much esteem from their peers by spray painting other peoples property.

The victim however might not be so amused to find his wall fence or shop having been used as a canvas. There is no respect in this for the rights of others. If these talented young people had self respect, they would use their talent in a respectful way.Their talent would be admired by many and their self esteem would be fed by others in a positive manner.

Scripture gives the following instruction.

Matthew 7:12 All things therefore whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, even so do ye also unto them: for this is the law and the prophets

But is respect for others what we teach our children?

Schools now pander to the self esteem of the individual child. There are no winners, there are no losers, it's all a level playing field. Regardless of age or experience the opinion of the individual is pandered to. No one (including teachers) is allowed more respect than anyone else in any circumstance. Little Johnny must have his way or his self esteem will suffer. What utter nonsense!!!

Teach little Johnny to have respect for himself and he will develop a respect for life and respect for others, that does not depend on his self esteem being pandered to. If little Johnny loves and cares for himself, he will be able to love and care for others. Little Johnny will find it very difficult to have respect for others unless he first learns respect for himself.

He needs to understand the difference between self respect and self esteem.

Essentially the words, esteem and respect are only synonymous when we apply them to others. Applied to ourselves they can be very different things. Let us learn this subtle, yet very important difference between self-esteem and self-respect.

The time is now! To stop the focus on self esteem and start to focus on teaching our children self respect. Start a re-education programme NOW! Before it's too late and we are drowned in a cesspool of self indulgence.

Gal 5:14 For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in this: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Lev. 19:18